Human nature expects, and demands, that when a person is in need of help that a friend or family member step up and lend a helping hand. A rescuer fills this need because it offers satisfaction for themselves and help to the ones in need. The request for assistance can be financial or emotional support, or some type of physical task that needs to be completed. No matter what is called for, though, a rescuer will allows jump to the rescue of the person in need.

There are numerous downfalls associated with a person that is a natural rescuer. They will, nine out of ten times, sacrifice their own personal finances, well-being, or lifestyle in order to help others. Many people that put others before themselves have to cope with living a simple life that is full of choices made by the people around them.

The second most prominent downfall that can befall a rescuer can be linked to the problem discussed above. Once people realize that a rescuer is present they will take full advantage of it. More often than not a person that helps others will be used to accomplish as many tasks as possible, even simple ones such as running to the store in the middle of the night. No task is too small, or big, to tackle in order for them to fulfill their own inner demands.

Being a rescuer is an emotional need that many people throughout the world can be categorized into. It is a natural response to any situation that may arise pertaining to the wants and needs of friends and family members. It is an emotional state that requires the rescuer to help people in order for them to feel needed, making them fulfill the internal requirements of being important and loved. Even though stepping up and helping people is a natural, commonly automatic, act for a rescuer, it is possible to limit the negative effects associated with the actions. Basically, people that are rescuers need to learn how to say “no”, and to realize that it is necessary to prioritize their lives by putting themselves before others.

Lane Resources Inc.

R. Lynn Lane

This is partly due to a psychological phenomenon known as Social Proof.  It’s whereby people follow the lead of the people they associate with if they’re unsure about something.  If you’re unsure whether you should be going out tonight because you have an early start tomorrow, but your friend does too and is already lining up the vodka shots, Social Proof might explain why you turn up late tomorrow.  It’s important, then, to choose the people whom we associate with carefully. 

You have to know what you want before you know whom to choose as friends, however.  Therefore, it is important to develop your own set of strongly developed personal values and attitudes.  Values are your own beliefs about what really matters in life.  Examples of values include ‘Abundance’, ‘Learning’, ‘Knowledge’ and ‘Teamwork’.  There are many lists on the internet that detail a wide range of values.  You might wish to scan one, and make a list of your personal top 10 most important values. 

Once you have identified your most important values, you should find, ideally, that your values guide your behaviour.  So, a person who values ‘Family’ should be attempting to maintain good relationships with their family members and should make an effort to spend time with them.  If you find that there’s a gap between your values and your behaviour, it may be time to re-assess your behaviour.  Given that we know friends influence our behaviour, it may also be time to re-assess your friendships.

This doesn’t have to mean we dismiss all our current friendships.  It may just mean broadening our social horizons, to include other friendships that are more in line with our personal values.  Someone who values ‘Creativity’, for instance, should seek to surround him- or herself with other people who also value being creative.  This will likely mean people who like to talk about art, who are imaginative and innovative, and who inspire you.  You can find these people through joining relevant clubs and associations, through internet forums and just by keeping an eye out for them.

Though there is some evidence that our choice of friends is influenced by our genetic make-up, it is certainly not impossible to consciously seek out people who will help us to grow into the people we most want to be.

Thank You.
Lynn Lane

Toastmasters International?

Toastmasters International is an organization that helps people to speak in public. Public speaking is a great fear most people have, next to death. So, you could say that most people would prefer being in the casket at the funeral than speaking at it.

At this meeting I was appointed the Table Topics Master for the night. I always loved that task, mostly because it would break things up and it would always bring out the good stories and the creative side of all the speakers involved.

 The Table Topics Master is in charge of the portion of the meeting that concentrates on speaking off the cuff. My job was to pick a topic and ask a member to give a talk for 2 minutes on that subject. We had enough members to ask 3 people per meeting to speak on table topics.

This meeting was the last meeting of the year and it was a few days before Christmas, so I thought I would stay with the theme and do topics around that subject.

I looked around the room at all the members I could call on. I picked Ernie. Ernie was a cool cat with a New York way of speaking. He was in sales and was a good speaker.

I looked at Ernie and motioned for him to come up to the lectern and then I asked him to tell us all about a special Christmas he had when he was a kid. He smiled and walked up beside me and I walked away and waited for a great 2 minute speech.

Ernie takes a deep breath and looks at me and he starts to speak. “Well…….I never had a Christmas with my family.” I thought oh no! I’m going to feel bad about this. All the other members looked and listened to find out more. Then He said; “I never celebrated Christmas with my family because…..I’m Jewish.” I can still see his big old smile. “I did have Christmas sort of. I would go to my friend’s house and enjoy Christmas Day with them. I also had Hanukah at my house.”

Ernie did a great job and finished his 2 minutes without missing a step. And he made me look like a winner. I’ve lost touch with old Ernie some years ago. I hope to laugh about that meeting again with him one day!

My Lesson:

So, what did I learn from that other than Ernie was Jewish and never celebrated Christmas with his family?

1 – Never assume that you know people until you really know them.

*** That is one communication and success tip that will take you far in business and in your relationships of any sort.

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Merry Christmas to you all!

Happy Hanukah, Ernie!

Embrace the challenge & enjoy the journey.

Visit A Toastmasters International Meeting Near You.

Lynn Lane

Lane Resources Inc.

“To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” –e.e. cummings

Step Up – Step Out – Step Into Your Greatness!

Use this link if you don’t see the video —> Here.

Lynn Lane

Lane Resources Inc.

As we travel on this journey of life we encounter people that we have a common interest with. The relationships we form during this time will be important to our future success.

Some of the relationships we form while in this moment will be toxic. When you have a toxic friend or find yourself involved with toxic people you will find yourself drained emotionally, physically and spiritually.

You will spend most of your energy trying to stay positive after being drained from these people which will influence other areas of your life.

If you have friends that have more than 1 of the following attitudes, it may be advantageous to drop them from your day to day circle of people you associate with. You will benefit a great deal in your life when you do.

1 – They are in a constant storm of complaining. They complain about all things before they hear the facts.

2 –They are always short with other people when communicating.

3 – They never like the fact that you spend time with other people.

4 –They quickly go from calm to hostile.

5 –They make you the brunt of jokes in front of others.

6 –They make you feel like a total drain after talking to them.

7 –They always dominate the conversation.

8 -They never seem to like other people at all.

If your friend has more than one of these attitudes you will start to feel the change within yourself after a few days without them around. Start to wean yourself away from these people before they drain all the energy from you.

It may be difficult to do in the beginning, but it is necessary for your life of success.

Enjoy The Journey!

Lynn Lane – MM.

Just want to wish all of you a Great Father’s Day!

A must for all to see on Fathers Day! <— Go Here.

Learn to Finish Strong! <— Give this video a quick look, you’ll be glad you did.

Thank You Much.

Lynn Lane

Enjoy the journey.

Have you ever had a bad day?

A day when all you want to do is just throw your hands up and say to the universe, I quit!

Enough! I’ve had it! I give up!

Sure you have and so have I. I have to confess that about every few months I have some of those days.

I was in that mood today until I picked up a book on my desk and as it opened I read a quote that said, “A quitter never wins….and a winner never quits.”

Most people think I never have a down day because I’m the one that tries to help people feel good or motivated and inspired about who they are.

I have those days when I just want to shut myself off and take a long break.

I also think that we need to have the down time, “I don’t feel like it” time and the “I don’t care today” time. It’s part of our personality and out nature.

The key is not to stay there. I learned a long time ago that we should set a time limit on how long we are going to stay in that state of mind.

That choice will keep you on track to move forward into a new state of mind. A state of mind that will benefit you and your successful journey through life!

Enjoy the journey!

Lynn Lane

You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just read straight through and you’ll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America.

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

Pass this on to those people who have made a difference in your life.

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” (Charles Schultz)

Enjoy The Journey!

Lynn Lane