Change Your Friends For A Better Life

Ever heard the saying, “show me a person’s friends and I will tell you what sort of person they are”?  It has more truth to it than you may think.  Look around your own circle of friends.  It’s probable that you and they engage in similar types of behaviour.  If your friend spends lots of time shopping, it’s likely that you do, too.  You might have even found that, if you’ve been friends for awhile, you may share similar physical traits – a similar body-weight, for instance, or similar taste in clothes.  If there are some aspects to yourself that you’re unhappy with, unfortunately, your friends might be helping you to maintain them.

This is partly due to a psychological phenomenon known as Social Proof.  It’s whereby people follow the lead of the people they associate with if they’re unsure about something.  If you’re unsure whether you should be going out tonight because you have an early start tomorrow, but your friend does too and is already lining up the vodka shots, Social Proof might explain why you turn up late tomorrow.  It’s important, then, to choose the people whom we associate with carefully. 

You have to know what you want before you know whom to choose as friends, however.  Therefore, it is important to develop your own set of strongly developed personal values and attitudes.  Values are your own beliefs about what really matters in life.  Examples of values include ‘Abundance’, ‘Learning’, ‘Knowledge’ and ‘Teamwork’.  There are many lists on the internet that detail a wide range of values.  You might wish to scan one, and make a list of your personal top 10 most important values. 

Once you have identified your most important values, you should find, ideally, that your values guide your behaviour.  So, a person who values ‘Family’ should be attempting to maintain good relationships with their family members and should make an effort to spend time with them.  If you find that there’s a gap between your values and your behaviour, it may be time to re-assess your behaviour.  Given that we know friends influence our behaviour, it may also be time to re-assess your friendships.

This doesn’t have to mean we dismiss all our current friendships.  It may just mean broadening our social horizons, to include other friendships that are more in line with our personal values.  Someone who values ‘Creativity’, for instance, should seek to surround him- or herself with other people who also value being creative.  This will likely mean people who like to talk about art, who are imaginative and innovative, and who inspire you.  You can find these people through joining relevant clubs and associations, through internet forums and just by keeping an eye out for them.

Though there is some evidence that our choice of friends is influenced by our genetic make-up, it is certainly not impossible to consciously seek out people who will help us to grow into the people we most want to be.

Success and Health

What good is it to have the world at your feet if you don’t have good health? Health is the most important thing you have. Yes, it’s good to have success, abundance, great relationships and a great spiritual life, but without your health you can’t enjoy it.

 Let’s look at some ways to improve our health and to live a good long life. Some of use can’t help the fact that genetics work against us. My wife Deborah inherited the cancer gene from her dad which led to her getting breast cancer at the early age of forty-two, and I inherited heart related genes.

 My grandfather died of a heart attack when he was only twenty-seven years old. My mother has had several heart attacks and my older brother was born with a small heart defect. So needless to say my wife and I both have things that were handed down to us through our parents.

 People still have the power and responsibility to take control of their own health.

 People don’t like to work to prevent a problem, but will wait until they have enough pain to make a choice to change at which point that may be too late.

 Our diet can rob us of energy, vitality and a longer life. Diet is important to life as much as breathing is. Most Americans have horrible diets that include too many fat, processed foods and too many calories.

 The word diet has many negative emotions attached to it we rarely ever take it seriously. Diet doesn’t mean you should deprive yourself; it is a way of life.

 You can’t do it all in one day, it takes time. You can straighten a crooked tree by binding it in the way you want it to grow if you do it in small amounts.

 Over a small amount of time you can also create that habit you want.

Six ways to stay motivated in the gym

One - Recruit a partner with the same goal. You and a partner will tend to push each other. You and a partner will also tend to show up for each other. When you have another person depending on you, you will be there.

 Two - Make it fun. Find exercises that will add variety to your workout. Cycling, yoga, martial arts and kick-boxing are all great forms of exercises that add variety.

 Three - Get out the calendar and mark each day you workout. This will help keep you on track and also give an idea of how quick the days go by. Also keep track of your progress.

 Four - Stop worrying about what others may think about you. For the most part others are in the gym for the same reason.

 Five - Go out and buy some new workout clothes after you have been working out for about 4 weeks. Notice how good it feels to wear those new, smaller clothes.

 Six - Get great information from others who are where you want to be. If you plan to use a trainer at the gym, find one that looks the way you want to look.

 If I want a bodybuilder’s body, I refuse to be trained by the guy that went to a weekend seminar to get his certification and weighs 125 lbs.

Enjoy the Journey.

Lynn Lane

lynn@warriorofsuccess,com